Reflections and Guardians

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Reflections and Guardians

What could Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 have in common with reflecting on the events of my life as I sit here in this all night diner?

Well, to be totally honest, not much… it just got me to thinking.

As many of you know, the major theme of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is that of finding family in those that are closest to you. That you are never truly alone unless you force things t0 be that way, and in the end, anyone can become a hero if they choose it.

The hero portion is not what really spoke to me… it was the themes of finding family, and not being alone unless you make it happen that way… and how it all reflects back to the loss of my Brother and my Father… whom I lost years before either of them died.

To give the right context to this, there must first be a brief history lesson about myself, and those around me.

My father left my mother after she turned down his proposal to marry him when she told him that she was with child. After my birth, and my naming… he challenged paternity, as he was of the belief that since I did not carry his name, but carried hers (not out of the ordinary for Scots to use the mother’s surname for the child when not married), and although the DNA test proved that he was my father, it wasn’t to be, and I never met him. It was revealed to me that he was dead in the Autumn of 2005, via court documents that were sent to my mother in regards to her 20+ years long case.

This was only a few months after the death of both of my Grandparents. One from cancer treatment complications, the other from a catastrophic attack of Guillen-Barre Syndrome.

My Mother would die suddenly in the Autumn of 2014 after a massive cardiac arrest. She had a history of heart troubles going back to the age of 5, when she had open heart surgery to correct a valve problem.

My Brother on the other hand… his was a life affected and ended by bad decisions.

MeandBrandon1982

Brandon (in stripes) and I in 1982.

Brandon, my younger Brother, and middle child, I have another Brother that is 7 yeas my junior, was prone to defiance of anyone that had authority over him, a rebellious streak a mile wide, undiagnosed Bi Polar Disorder, and to add to this, a history of being abused by our first stepfather, and then having more than 15 years spent in and out of prison… would lose his battle with addiction on May 6th, 2016.

He died alone in sitting on a bench at a run down park in a Metro Detroit Ghetto.

Brandon’s cause of death was a overdose of Fentanyl coupled with Alcohol… he was less than 3 weeks away from his 35th Birthday.

On the evening after what would have been his 36th birthday, I decided to finally see Guardians of the Galaxy. I went alone, and enjoyed the movie very much. There was lots of Marvel Fan Service throughout, but after all 5 of the credits scenes were over, and I was on the way back to my car, I realized that the movie spoke to me quite differently than I would have ever imagined.

I like “Star Lord”, had to bear witness to the death of my Mother (Grand Parents as well), as I was in the unenviable position of having to make the judgment call to withdraw care when it was determined that she was brain dead… a position that she herself had been in with her own Mother (my Granny) in 2005.

And like I did with my Granddad, Granny, I read my Ma her last rites, and sat awaiting for her to draw her last breath. It was an agonizingly long few hours… but in the end, she would be in a better place.

I like “Star Lord”, was always told stories about my Father, and he was painted into this great man, that had fought evil, and in the end… it would be revealed, that he was not the kind of person that I would have hoped…and my Granddad, was a lot like Yondu in the respect that while he was not my Father… he was pretty much my Daddy…but even I would never have the guts to call him Mary Poppins… even though Mary Poppins was “super cool”.

And, much like “Star Lord”… I found family amongst a group that I had little fully in common with, but we chose to be with each other.

I went into this movie in the hopes of seeing a great installment of the MCU… but instead, I saw a movie that made me reflect… and to be thankful for the people that I have around me. It made me realize that sometimes life is an imitation of life, and the best art, is a reflection of a life that others didn’t know existed.

As I walked back to my car, I realized that I can’t blame myself for not being able to save my Brother, as he chose the path that he did… and suffered the consequences of that path. Yesterday many of his friends paid a tribute to him in their own way… and I did as well… and we will not forget him… but life carries on, and so we must as well.

For the price of a single movie ticket, a large soda, and some Milk Duds (approximately $238.48) I got something that in the long run is truly priceless. Closure and perspective.

Well, that, and a Howard the Duck cameo.

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One thought on “Reflections and Guardians

  1. Some people with such a story choose to get bitter. You have chosen to get better. I remember your optimism and joy. It continues even as you have walked a difficult path. Proud to know you and be a distant friend. Thanks for a glimpse into your life, the transparency, and respect in which you have shared it Wess. Would love to reconnect if I get up that way soon.

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